Slow Your Roll

I would tell you all to slow your rolls but they’re already being stuffed with hoagie guts and cheesesteak fixings this morning. Why do I want everyone to slow their rolls? Well, I turn on sports radio and talk to friends and hear that Carson Wentz is the the second coming of Christ. Hell, I’ve seen pictures with his head attached to famous Christ’ paintings bodies. This all after his second game while going into his first huge test. 

Why do we do this? We are so eager to have something over these NFC East assholes. They’ve tortured us for so long about rings that the faintest hint of hope gets our imaginations rolling. We build our hopeful heroes up to the point that most collapse under the pressure we put on them. The two biggest examples of this are Bobby Hoying and Ty Detmer. After two games each all my friends had crisp new jerseys with both their names on the back. Today we look back and they’re throwbacks to be ashamed of owning(yes Edp it’s not a badge of honor). 

I hope for everyone to just enjoy the ride and to not worry about fighting with the assholes that are hoping Wentz is a false savior. For those wondering why this team can suddenly win: Great coaching can overcome any players deficiencies and Chip Kelly was an awful coach here. There’s many stats that support the chances of an eagles victory today, so please let’s not go too crazy if they soar. 

E A G L E S 


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