Gabe,

I don’t hate you and frankly I don’t want to hate you but I do hate what you’ve brought to my table. The old proverb goes “Fool Me Once, Shame on You, Fool me twice shame on me.” Unfortunately for you Gabe, I already fell for a snake oil salesman. After being pessimistic I bought into Chip Kelly’s way when I watched the first half of that Redskins-Eagles game. After we watched Chip Kelly crash and burn you come here to Philadelphia preaching nutritional changes for players and analytics in the dugout, no wonder we’re giving you hell. We heard this spiel from Charles Kelly. Players were going to play better because of the better nutrition and your style of coaching was going to revolutionize the game. Gabe, the man across the street just proved you both wrong. Ice cream and creating a family atmosphere is how you win. Charlie Manuel got his players ready to go to war for him, because they loved him. Pulling Nola and sitting Kingery isn’t the way to get these guys to love you pal.

Lastly I have an issue I’d love to hear you discuss. I’ll preface it with the fact that i can’t find any written evidence to back this up: Do you care about your body and fitness more than you care about baseball? If so you’re in the wrong job. Baseball is about guts. Managerial Gut Feelings and guys with big guts have always ruled this sport. I’m happy for you and your wife that you have washboard abs and tanned testicles but that shit does nothing for me or The Phillies. Maybe take some time from your workout routines to memorize those charts and then leave the analytic charts in the clubhouse and go out and manage. Preparation never hurt nobody but if you’d rather manage by numbers then I hate to tell you that we’d be better off with a Robot in the dugout.