Big Jah,
I’m a fan dude. You play the game right, well maybe you need some more defense but nobody is perfect. I see some trouble has come your way and I would really like to help and give some advice. Sure it’s fun driving fast and swatting Bostonians but that can lead to some high profile trouble. If you don’t like hanging around hotel rooms slurping pitchers of shirley temple then I really feel you need to take some advice from my man Cris Carter:“Because all you guys aren’t going to do the right stuff. I need to teach to you how to get around all of this stuff too. If you have a crew, one of them fools need to know that they’re going to jail. I know a lot of you aren’t going to drink, i know a lot of you aren’t going to use drugs but still get yourself a fall guy.”

Insert me into your crew and I’ll know my place. I’ll be the dude that bites the bullet and goes to jail for you. Why? Cause I want to see you succeed and flourish for our Sixers and I know you’ll take care of my extremely large student loans in return. This symbiotic relationship can be one for the ages. Like Rob and Big except we’ll call it Tall and Fat. Think about it bro and get back to me. 

Sincerely,

Charlie Alexander

P.S. I hold hands but it costs extra.